The Title Doesn't Come With a Manual
Why Communication Is the Hardest Skill in Business (And What to Do About It)
A few weeks ago, I was sitting with a client talking about one of her employees — a training manager who is talented, committed, and genuinely excited about her role.
But she was struggling.
Not with the technical parts of her job. Not with showing up. She was struggling with something a lot harder: giving honest feedback to her peers and having those difficult conversations that nobody really looks forward to.
My client asked me to help her figure out how to support this employee's development. So we talked through the challenges, identified the gaps, and I built her two practical tools to help her manager grow.
And then my client looked at those tools and said something that stopped me in my tracks:
"I think I need these too."
That moment is what this blog post is about.
The Myth We Tell Ourselves About Titles
There's a story that gets passed around in the business world — usually without anyone saying it out loud. It goes something like this:
Once you reach a certain level, you should already have all the skills you need.
Once you're the owner, you should know how to lead. Once you're the manager, you should know how to give feedback. Once you have the title, the skills are just supposed to be there.
But they're not.
A title is recognition of what you've already accomplished. It reflects your expertise, your track record, and the trust people have placed in you. What it doesn't do — what it has never done — is automatically install the communication skills, emotional regulation, and feedback delivery that the role also demands.
And here's the uncomfortable truth: communication might be the hardest professional skill there is.
Not because it's complicated. Because it's deeply human.
It requires you to stay calm when you're genuinely frustrated. To say the hard thing with kindness. To hold someone accountable without losing the relationship. To listen fully when your brain is already three steps ahead composing your response. To have the conversation you've been putting off for three weeks — again.
Nobody is just born knowing how to do all of that well. And yet somehow we expect people to figure it out the moment they step into a leadership role.
What Nobody Tells First-Time Managers (Or Business Owners)
When someone becomes a manager for the first time — whether that's a training manager in a small business or a team lead in a growing company — they're usually promoted because they're great at their job.
They're skilled. They're reliable. They get results.
What they're rarely prepared for is the part where they now have to influence other people's behavior without direct authority. Where they have to deliver feedback that might make someone uncomfortable. Where they have to navigate the tension between being liked and being effective.
And business owners? We face a version of this too — maybe even more so, because we never had a manager training program to begin with. We just started a business and figured it out as we went.
My client has been running her business for years. She's built a team. She has systems and clients and a reputation she's genuinely proud of. And she still recognized that there were communication skills she wanted to strengthen.
That recognition? That's not a weakness. That's exactly what good leadership looks like.
What Development Actually Looks Like in Practice
When I build tools for clients, I don't hand them a theory book or send them to a weekend workshop. I build practical resources they can use in real moments, on real days, with real people.
For this client's training manager, that meant two things:
The Manager Reset Guide
This is a simple, direct resource for the moments when frustration is creeping in — before something gets said that damages trust or sets the wrong tone for the whole room.
It covers:
Recognizing your personal warning signs — because you can't reset if you don't notice you need to. Jaw tightens. Talking faster. That urge to fix it RIGHT NOW.
A 5-step reset process — pause, create space, name what you're feeling, return when ready, protect your energy daily. In that order, every time.
Real scripts for real moments — because sometimes you just need the words. "I want to give this the attention it deserves. Can we sit down at [specific time]?" That's a complete, professional response. It's not avoidance. It's leadership.
The Weekly Manager Reflection Sheet
This is a 5-10 minute weekly check-in — best done on Friday afternoon or Sunday evening before the week ahead. It asks:
What went well this week? (There's always something, even in a hard week.)
Was there a moment I felt reactive? What happened, what did I do, and what would I do differently?
How is each person on my team doing? Does anyone need follow-up?
Did I protect my energy this week — or did I absorb everyone else's?
What's one thing I want to do differently next week?
No certification required. No lengthy training program. Just the discipline to pause once a week and actually look at your patterns — because growth doesn't happen in the moments. It happens when you stop and reflect on them.
The Part That Made This Story Worth Telling
I've built tools like these for clients before. But what made this particular engagement stand out was my client's response when she saw them.
She didn't just say "great, I'll pass these along."
She said "I need these too."
And she meant it. She started using them alongside her training manager — doing her own weekly reflection, working through her own reset process when she felt that familiar frustration building.
Here's why that matters beyond just being a nice story:
When your team sees you working on your own communication skills, they get permission to work on theirs.
When you model self-reflection openly, you create a culture where growth is expected and welcomed — not just for the people who report to you, but for everyone in the room, including you.
When you admit that a hard conversation is uncomfortable for you too, your team stops feeling like they're the only one who struggles with it.
That's not just good for team morale. That's the foundation of a business that can actually scale — because it's built on real trust, not just authority.
The Question Worth Sitting With
Think about the communication skills in your own business right now — yours and your team's.
Is there a conversation you've been avoiding because you're not sure how to have it?
Is there someone on your team who needs to strengthen their feedback skills but hasn't had the tools or support to do so?
When was the last time YOU reflected on your own patterns as a communicator and leader?
Acknowledging the gap isn't failure. It's the first move.
My client made that move. And her team is better for it — and so is she.
Get the Free Tools
I packaged both resources into a free download called The Manager Reset Kit.
It includes the Manager Reset Guide and the Weekly Manager Reflection Sheet — ready to print, use, and share with your team.
👉 Download The Manager Reset Kit here — it's free.
No sign-up required. No strings attached. Just two practical tools for business owners and managers who want to lead with intention.
Want More Than Just the Tools?
If you're reading this and thinking "this is exactly what my business needs — but we need more than two documents" — that's where I come in.
I work with business owners to build the systems, processes, and people frameworks that make running a business feel less overwhelming and more like what you actually signed up for.
If that sounds like the conversation you need to have, let's talk.
Schedule a free 30-minute discovery call at notableprojects.com